Midterm Performance Letter

Dear Guru Francis and Banjar,
The semester is reaching its midpoint, and as I sit to reflect upon how I have changed thus far, I realize just how much this class has affected me. I suppose these changes culminated when I gave a description of my concerns and my plans for the future to all of you, something I would have been and usually am extremely hesitant to do. I consider myself a very private person, with very strong individual goals and plans; to open myself up to an assembled group of classmates is unlike me. I guess this just goes to show how the class is affecting me. When guru Francis told us a few classes ago that we need to change our approach to this class, that it isn’t about nailing the grade at the expense of others, or about personal competition, but about the good of the group, the banjar, I was really struck. I’m used to learning how to "play the game" in the classroom to benefit myself, but this class is really unique in that our goal is for all of us to succeed. It’s really refreshing.
I’ve also been developing in terms of my ability. Two months ago I wouldn’t have been able to string two steps together, let alone remember hand gestures, but slowly and surely I am improving in that regard. I’m no dance wizard, but I have noticed subtle improvements as I become more in tune to how my body moves and how I can use posture, gesture, and facial expression to create art. True, one semester isn’t going to make me an expert, but I am beginning to consider this class a survey course in how we create art through our mind and our body, and becoming aware of that is a great achievement.
I have just about finished the reading of the Ramayana. I am on page 600 or thereabouts, and it has been a great read, the reading I look forward to during the week. It has a very epic feel, and I’m really interested in how we will be able to recreate that, or how we will pull out the personal moments from the work and recreate them through dance. I will say, I have never had exposure to the Hindu scriptures or legends and it has been eye opening, the visceral and remarkable imagery scattered throughout. I particularly enjoyed the massive battle at the end.
That leads me to my goals for the rest of the semester. I would very much like to do a fight scene for my individual or dual or small group performance. The battle that struck me the most was against Kumbhakarna, the giant who spends most of his time asleep. It was refreshing that Ravana himself feared him, and that even though he was disagreed with Ravana’s actions, he still would fight for him. I would love to recreate this fight scene, maybe using one of us perched on another’s shoulders, or some other device. The fight against Indrajit would also be really interesting to recreate. I would love to work with the student who has been training in Kung Fu (sorry I forget your name) and incorporate those fight moves into the choreography.
Less specifically, I would like to spend more time reviewing the dance moves so that they will stick in my mind, as sometimes I think we rush from one to the next to quickly. I would like in particular to improve my hand gestures, as I feel they are my weakest area. Finally, and more abstractly, I would like to learn to surrender more and more, even though I have come very far in that regard. I am rather anxious about performing in front of a group. On that note, I have to express my concerns about performing in front of a middle school audience at a middle school. I feel that because the cultural context of our performance will be so foreign to them, they will not know how to appreciate it and will mock us mercilessly. Personally, I feel that if we must perform for them, that bringing them to the campus and performing for them in our "turf", if you will, will help draw them out of their own context and make the performance more meaningful for them, rather than performing at their school. Just a suggestion.
You all have been wonderful to work with so far, and I look forward to the rest of our classes.
Sincerely,
Eddie Baldwin

What is art?

One week ago, the banjar had, as Guru Francis referred to it, a breakthrough. In the class we managed to get much of the unspoken tension out of the room through a discussion of what was going on in our minds behind the art. Thinking about this later, it struck me just how much our minds affect art, particularly performance art. Our minds are what moves our body, and our body is how we create art through performance. Thus, if something troubles our minds, our body, and by association our art, is undeniably affected. I was wondering why in this class, unlike others, I couldn't just power through, shove everything else out of my head, and just do my work. But this class is different, because state of mind is so important to the quality of the art that comes out. Whatever is going on in our mind, our rasa, will reflect itself through the chants and movements. Thus it is important in art to have the right frame of mind before real, honest art can be created.
This week I told the Banjar a little about my life and what was going on in my head last week, and it felt good to share a little. It has felt more natural and relaxed in class the past two sessions after Monday's class. I look forward to more development after the break, as I become more in tune with how my body and my mind develop in conjunction to create some movement.

How am I evolving?

So I've only got about 100+ more pages of the Ramayana. The last hundred pages has been one fight after another, so it's pretty intense. Personally, after watching the performance of Ramayana, and then reading the book, I would have really liked to see what could be done with a more action oriented staging. Admittedly, it would be hard to recreate the epic feel of Ramayana on stage without an extremely large budget.
But what I really want to talk about is how I am evolving as an artist, and at what point my dance becomes art instead of simply a series of memorized movements. It will be interesting to see what we are going to do in our performances a week from now, but my expectation is that we will combine our barathanathiam (sp?) steps into a short dance and perform to music. I noticed for the first time this weekend that I had begun to think of the movements as dance rather than memorized steps, because my roomate had indian techno playing (yeah he's into that) and I began to see how the rhythm and timing of the steps could match the music, and actually be flowing.
I'm also surprising myself slightly with an increased competence on the dance floor. To be fair, I'm still quite bad, but the dance moves are beginning to come out of me naturally, rather than with intense concentration trying to drag them up from my memory. I feel this would increase with more practice, but it's really hard to find the time and place for that.
I feel that the next step of my evolution is going to be turning that natural dance into an effective version of the Ramayana. I will write more on that once we start acting out specific scenes.

Tired Soles

Today's class was discouraging. I felt that I had just started to get a hang of things, but the new dance moves we learned today were difficult. I practiced some on my own, and the individual moves aren't that difficult by themselves. I've got a hang of the mudras, and the steps are getting easier. But its when I put them together that my mind can't handle that many things. I actually realized that I do better when I stop thinking, and stop looking at my feet. Being an english major and being used to meticulously crafting papers, not thinking is probably the hardest challenge so far. Just feeling. We don't do that often, just feel, no thoughts attatched. I know its only going to get harder, with an audience looking on and all the thoughts and nervousness that comes with being on display. It's going to be a challenging semester.

I'm a little past page 400 of the Ramayana, and they've just started to fight at the gates of Lanka. It's getting intense. I would love to see this turned into an animated film, something Miyazaki like. With such eloquently articulated visuals, the work just asks to be drawn. Though, I suppose that is what we will be doing with our bodies, drawing it in a way.

I was watching a fantastic movie called "The Fall", the other night, produced by Spike Jonez. Its about a paralytic telling a little girl a story. It's an intensely beautiful movie set in Colonial India. I strongly suggest it, but the reason I mention it here is that depicted in the film is a kechak circle. It's slightly different in terms of what is spoken in the circle, but you really get a sense of the spiritual power of the thing. It's a cool scene.

Right, off to nurse my feet.

Ramayana Thoughts

First of all, my thighs hurt, and my mind is reeling with thaka dimis and techaks and Balinese nomenclature. I'm really enjoying the Ramayana, I have to say. It's like a mix between the picaresque and scripture, and its an exciting read. I just got to the monkey fight, and Rama's thoughts on Dharma. I have to point out that I find Rama contradictory in one point. At the beginning, it set forth the concept that Rama's dharma is based upon the fact that he cannot lie, not even in the smallest thing. It seems ironic then when Rama is leaving his father's city and heading into banishment, he encourages the driver to lie to the king later, telling him just to say to the king that he couldn't hear his cries to return over the noise of the crowd. I'm not sure exactly how this fits into Rama's character. Must he remain completely without blemish to still maintain the deification he embodies?
Regardless, there are some cool scenes to dance to. I'm especially excited about Rama slaying the army of demons single-handedly; I bet there could be some equally exciting coreography to that.
-Eddie

Thoughts on the first real class

So, having meaningful conversations while doing burning stretches was a new experience for me, but I suppose it helps to diffuse any awkward tension from such a conversation through the pain in our muscles. I can't say I've had too many revelations from the class so far, but it's early days. I am enjoying the text of the Ramayana; I've had exposure to Hindu temples and festivals, but never actual beliefs and texts. It's reminscent of some Western epics and is by far my most enjoyable reading this semester. (Also, for the first time I know where the name for Garuda airlines comes from). I suppose that all I can say right now is that I'm looking forward into seeing how the text is translated into dance form, and I'm particularly interested to see the other members of the class bring their own unique talents to the project. Also, slightly anxious about having to take my shirt off and dance in a skirt-like outfit. I think most of the semester is going to be about building up my courage to do that in front of a bunch of people. Right then. A dancer needs his beauty sleep...