Midterm Performance Letter

Dear Guru Francis and Banjar,
The semester is reaching its midpoint, and as I sit to reflect upon how I have changed thus far, I realize just how much this class has affected me. I suppose these changes culminated when I gave a description of my concerns and my plans for the future to all of you, something I would have been and usually am extremely hesitant to do. I consider myself a very private person, with very strong individual goals and plans; to open myself up to an assembled group of classmates is unlike me. I guess this just goes to show how the class is affecting me. When guru Francis told us a few classes ago that we need to change our approach to this class, that it isn’t about nailing the grade at the expense of others, or about personal competition, but about the good of the group, the banjar, I was really struck. I’m used to learning how to "play the game" in the classroom to benefit myself, but this class is really unique in that our goal is for all of us to succeed. It’s really refreshing.
I’ve also been developing in terms of my ability. Two months ago I wouldn’t have been able to string two steps together, let alone remember hand gestures, but slowly and surely I am improving in that regard. I’m no dance wizard, but I have noticed subtle improvements as I become more in tune to how my body moves and how I can use posture, gesture, and facial expression to create art. True, one semester isn’t going to make me an expert, but I am beginning to consider this class a survey course in how we create art through our mind and our body, and becoming aware of that is a great achievement.
I have just about finished the reading of the Ramayana. I am on page 600 or thereabouts, and it has been a great read, the reading I look forward to during the week. It has a very epic feel, and I’m really interested in how we will be able to recreate that, or how we will pull out the personal moments from the work and recreate them through dance. I will say, I have never had exposure to the Hindu scriptures or legends and it has been eye opening, the visceral and remarkable imagery scattered throughout. I particularly enjoyed the massive battle at the end.
That leads me to my goals for the rest of the semester. I would very much like to do a fight scene for my individual or dual or small group performance. The battle that struck me the most was against Kumbhakarna, the giant who spends most of his time asleep. It was refreshing that Ravana himself feared him, and that even though he was disagreed with Ravana’s actions, he still would fight for him. I would love to recreate this fight scene, maybe using one of us perched on another’s shoulders, or some other device. The fight against Indrajit would also be really interesting to recreate. I would love to work with the student who has been training in Kung Fu (sorry I forget your name) and incorporate those fight moves into the choreography.
Less specifically, I would like to spend more time reviewing the dance moves so that they will stick in my mind, as sometimes I think we rush from one to the next to quickly. I would like in particular to improve my hand gestures, as I feel they are my weakest area. Finally, and more abstractly, I would like to learn to surrender more and more, even though I have come very far in that regard. I am rather anxious about performing in front of a group. On that note, I have to express my concerns about performing in front of a middle school audience at a middle school. I feel that because the cultural context of our performance will be so foreign to them, they will not know how to appreciate it and will mock us mercilessly. Personally, I feel that if we must perform for them, that bringing them to the campus and performing for them in our "turf", if you will, will help draw them out of their own context and make the performance more meaningful for them, rather than performing at their school. Just a suggestion.
You all have been wonderful to work with so far, and I look forward to the rest of our classes.
Sincerely,
Eddie Baldwin